Life Sometimes is Overwhelming

Airing out bad news again, it just seems to never end. It's said when it rains it pours, or bad things come in sets of three, or history repeats itself, all to very true!

My Grandmother passed Feb 3, 2013. I am having a hard time dealing some days, but when I'm able to see my Grandfather the sad memories fade for a little while.

March came and went and for the whole month I was recovering from having my 4 wisdom teeth removed and then a hematoma recovery. Overall the surgery process went well, def glad it's done and over with and will not have to experience that again (: But it took a whole month of antibiotics and dentist follow up appts to get back to my "normal" self.

Moving to April, the month started out refresed feeling, I was feeling better, I had a big day coming up with my childhood friend Hollys wedding approaching fast. So I was in high gear trying to get my Matron of Honor role finished and polished. My plans for celebration were haulted quickly, as I discovered Gio & I were expecting. Due to my pregnancy history, this was a very scary time. I was followed by my wonderful docs with ultrasounds and bloodwork to make sure this would be a viable pregnancy. That was the week of the wedding, I had been advised to take it easy, and of course no typical Brandi celebrating. Which was fine no biggie, my mind was off in another world trying to go through the "what if's". Eventually it was official that the pregnancy ended up in my tube and not going anywhere, Methotrexate injections were needed. I received my first one and was taken off of work for "bedrest" and until it was determined what would happen, the goal was to keep my tube, and keep me out of surgery. I was in the office everyother day for more bloodwork and ultrasounds, which after my first round of the injection, another round was needed as the pregnancy mass continued to grow, causing concern for a tube rupture and surgery. After another week went by of the same bloodwork and ultrasounds, and the med seem to be working, I was able to come back to work. Which was such a relief! One and a half days into working, and sever pain, another ultrasound was done and it was determined that the mass continued to grow, the injections did not work and my only choice now was surgery :( Surgery went well, as I have the best doctors :) but again I was off of work recovering. I finally got to return to work mid May.

Fast forward to the end of May, the day after Memorial Day, I found out that my dad's cancer had returned, but is now in his lungs, he will go through chemo. My parents are already struggling financially and emotionally and this new round of meds and doctor appts is going to make things much worse. 

Last night Gio and I were talking, about how hopefully soon there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. How will the bad news end anytime soon, we all could use some good news and a long break from the bad, and how history def does repeat itself. In 2005 Gio's sister Tesah passed away, shortly after that his mom was diagnosed with cancer and after that I had surgery for a ruptured tube and no pregnancy. Here we are 6-7yrs later following an all to familiar pattern. My dad was diagnosed with cancer, my grandmother passed away due to complications of cancer, and I had lost another pregnancy and had surgery to remove my ruptured tube.

When will the sorrow, the heartache end? When will the Good Lord say enough, good times ahead? Will there ever be good times again? I don't know, but Gio, my family, and I have had our fair share, it has poured, out threesome has happened, and history is slamming it's ugly self right in our faces. Hopefully soon we'll see good times :)

My World, Falling Apart

September 11, 2001 was a day I will never forget, where I was and what I was doing. I was junior in high school sitting in home economics class when the loud speaker came on overhead to inform myself and fellow classmates that our country was under attack! Our world has never been the same since. Every year thousands of people I didn't even know are honored, and will continue to be honored and remembered.


September 11, 2012 yet another day I will never forget what I was doing. . .that evening as I pulled into my driveway, my dad calls me. He had surgery that friday just before and I knew he had a follow up appt that day, but the news I ws about to hear was so overwhelming! I answered the phone to hear my dads voice. He said he went to the doctors appt and that his biopsy results were back which were positive for CANCER!!! MY DAD HAS CANCER!!! I didn't even know what to say, my heart hurt, my stomach and head were spinning! My dad kept his cool (like always) and didn't have many answers other than they were coming down here to see an oncologist.

After hanging up the phone, my frustration, anger, sadness, confusion, and heartache came through! My whole world felt like it was falling apart. My Dad, Mom, Sister & I went to IU Hospital yesterday for answers, we really didn't get any, but have moved forward in the direction to answers. We all spent the day at the hospital while my Dad underwent a CT scan to make sure this cancer doesn't or hasn't spread to his lungs and a MRI to make sure the surgery my Dad had had gotten all of the cancer cells from his body. We are now waiting on results which should come back by the end of the week. I pray every night that things will turn out positive and that myself and the rest of our family can "keep it together" for my Dad, he needs all the support we can give him! I LOVE YOU DAD!! And you'll pull through this, and we'll be right beside you all the way!!!