Darkness.

It all began to fall apart so quickly. On August 12, 2005 Gio's closest younger sister Tesah was killed in a car accident. It was so all of a sudden, such a horrible ordeal for anyone to go through, even if your not family. I was crushed, but how could I show my tears and how devastated I was when she wasn't even my sister but my boyfriends? So to be supportive and strong, I didn't let Gio know how crushed I was by this. He needed me to be his rock. Little did I know he returned the favor. For the rest of that year nothing was happy, sadness was around every corner. We spent alot of time with Karen, trying to comfort her, be supportive as she was dealing with not only never seeing her daughter again but the legal side of everything. Gio was as supportive as anyone could be and it slowly began to take a toll on him. That year the holidays came and went, with lots of reminders of Tesah. And day by day, slowly everyone was coming around. At the end of 2005 through the beginning of 2006 Gio started working out of state with his dad and uncle. He was gone most of the time, and I was only able to see him a couple of days within a 2 to 3 week time frame. It was horrible! Finally he came home for the last time and decided we wasn't working out of state anymore. But then more darkness, confusion came. One morning in March as I was preparing for work, I noticed I didn't feel well, like I was coming on for a cycle, so I brushed it off and went into work. As the day went on I continued to feel worse and eventually I was doubled over in pain. A pain which I had never experienced before. I was wheeled out of my work in a wheelchair and taken home. I stayed at home for a few days after that, while the pain got better, but never went away. I was able to function with just a little discomfort. Then on April 6, as Gio and I were at a friends house, I could feel that similar pain coming on, & I instructed Gio that we had to leave. Gio didn't take me home, but instead took me to the ER. That's where I found out that I was technically pregnant, and that the egg had attached itself to my left tube and began to grow causing by tube to burst (ectopic pregnancy), and that for the past month I was dying from infection due to the ruptured tube sitting in a 13 ounce pool of blood in my stomach. I had to have emergency surgery!!! I had never had surgery in my life at that point!! I was terrified!! Surgery was a success and after 5 days in the hospital I could go home. The kicker, while in the hospital I had little to no visitors. Our friends James & Laurie came in once, Karen & Naomi came in once, and my own Parents only came in once!!! After arriving home, trying to adjust, I just couldn't. I had never felt so unloved, so uncared about, so confused, and so sad in my life. And for the several months I became very depressed. I would cry myself to sleep at night. Gio would do his best to comfort me, but nothing would work. I refused therapy to discuss my situation, and I denied any medication to help me cope. I even had to quit my job at the portrait studio, because I couldn't handle working with children, it hurt so badly. It was a very dark time for me, the darkest I'd ever experienced. As I write this, it still brings tears to my eyes, it's such a sensitive subject for me to talk about, even to write about. I have a permanent scar to remind me everyday what happened, and to remind me that Gio & I may have a very difficult time trying to conceive a child! Now with what had happened with Tesah, and then me, now it was Gio's turn. He finally couldn't take any more stress, and he began to have chest/heart issues. So to the best of my ability I tried to take good care of him. And over a few months he did get better. On top of all of this we didn't have money to begin with, and with doctor bills piling up, we eventually had to move out of our first apartment and move in with David. This situation didn't help anything for me, so after only a few months with David, we moved in with Karen. Which brought us to 2007. But 2005-2006 were the darkest days of either of our lives, we stood strong together, and came out happier, stronger individuals, which in turns makes us a better couple. We found out how strong we are and that we can and will overcome any obstacle that presents itself to us. Giovanni you are my rock, my everything, and if you didn't care enough about me I may not even be here. I Thank You and Love You with all of My Heart.